grr!

Phol is pissing me off again! He got angry cuz I didn't wanna go to the gym, I was enjoying my time with my family! We don't get to do much together cuz Phol always wants to go do something or doesn't have time or whatever! But today we had time! Why can't I find a boyfriend who enjoys being with my family as much as me? I can't be with a guy who doesn't fit in with my family! or friends for that matter! Then he comes over and expects to be babied! make him food, let him cuddle on me! NO! I need a MAN!! I don't know how much I can take! What's terrible is now that he's moved out we make up less and fight just about the same! and he always ruins my really good mood when I'm with my family! Seriously, ALWAYS! I'm tired of missing out because of him! I feel like he's always testing me and pushing me to see just how much I will give up for him and do for him! AGH! I'm just not going to talk to him tomorrow, I'm pissed off now! and I was all ready to go to bed and now I'm not and I have to be up in less than 8 hours...sometimes, I really hate him :(

WOW! lol

So I have not been on here in forever and it is so weird going back and reading that, to think that since September, I have broken up with said boyfriend twice and we are currently back together and have been for quite some time! We still have issues especially about the old guy friend I liked so much before him. We still fight over stupid things, but I'm forcing myself not to worry about him anymore. I do trust him and I understand where he's coming from with this whole Alex thing and I know I don't need to talk to Alex about stuff, but I enjoyed his conversation. He's definitely something different, he was talking to me more and that pisses off the boy toy, but I really don't feel the same way I did for him before! And I know that because I love Phol! Oh so much! I miss Alex like I would miss talking to Julia after so long. But I'll live, as long as Phol doesn't get so jealous about him anymore! Phol lived with me for awhile and he's been gone for almost a  whole week and I miss it so much! But at the same time I enjoy the freedom, but I appreciated all the time we were able to spend together. I think not living together is going to take a big toll on us and may or may not just make or break us! I really hope we make it! I am not imagining a life or marriage with him quite yet, tho I have thought if we got an apt together or something how that would work out...? I want a puppy, I think he and I would have so much fun with that! I'm getting over all the girls who talk to him cuz I know he'll always come to me! except noel...still have some niggling issues with her lol but I won't make him stop talking to her...just hanging out with her haha I hate it when we fight and snap at each other, but we're working on it and I think it's getting better. So it's good :) very good! I'm hoping to get back into some school this summer but I have to pay and I am quite broke! I owed on taxes so that really sucked! But I'm going to join the gym with pholly too! So should be great :) lots of fun and love ;) I am so EXCITED for this summer!